---10:49pm-Denial---

'It doesn't look like he has much longer..an hour at the very most. I'm sorry..'

For the first time that night I let the tears slip from my eyes. I hadn't been prepared for this. The chemotheropy had been going so well... we'd hoped for the best and maybe, just maybe, we had created an illusion in our minds that he was going to live. We thought the ancer wasn't going to win, he was going to survive.

Looks like we were just being optimistic in the end.

Ironic isn't it? It was something we sung about at everyone of our concerts, the words that Gerard blasted through the mic, screaming to all the sufferers, giving them hope. As I would say 'we are definently a band that wants to save your life' ... and we do do that. Its our own lives that we can't save, as hard as we try.

---11:13pm-Memories---

I still remember the day he told me. I was the first to know, I was his fiance after all. We'd had it all planned. The date was set and everyone was in a buzz about the wedding. But then he'd sat me down, took my hands into his, looked into my eyes and told me the truth.

'Frank...I have cancer....'

I couldn't speak, my mind was blank. I could feel my world crashing down around me. Shattering everything, ruining it.

'...its terminal'

I let it go.

I cried. As much as I tried I couldn't be strong, even for his sake. He had grabbed me and pulled his arms around me, eloping me in a hug. That was the moment my world ended forever. It hit me like a boulder.

The love of my life was going to die.

---11:26pm-Preparation---

After he had told me it took six months for the illness to take its toll. Gradually he became weaker, he could no longer play the concerts, could barely eat. Yet his eyes still lit up everytime he saw me. We wern't going to let it spoil what we had. It didn't matter if we had 6 weeks or 100 years, we were going to make every moment count.

But in the end. He couldn't beat it. He didn't have that kind of power. The world, the band... me, had convinced ourselves that he did. Deep down we knew we were living a lie. He wasn't all powerful, he may seem it, but he couldn't control this. This monster of an illness that was taking over his body, destroying it slowly. Killing him from the inside.

---11:41pm-Letting go---

So here we are now. Gathered round the gurney and watching him, feeling helpless. I know everyone in the band would give their own lives to save his. But we can't. He has looked worse than I have ever seen him, his face pale, body weak. He's consious, aware of what was going to happen, how long he had left. As the seconds ticked on we could see the life draining from his body, his eyes losing their omnipresent sparkle.

His shaking hand reaches out to find mine. He speaks, his voice soft and frail.

'F-Frank...I'm s-so sorry...I couldn't h-hold it out till w-we got m-married...I love you.....'

I began to cry again, the tears streaming down my face.

'Shhh baby...I-I love you too....I'll miss you...I really truly love you, with all my heart'

His eyes were slowly closing and his breathing was getting weaker, less frequent. The band watch in silence as I slowly slip off my silver engagment ring and place it on my loves finger.

'I'll always remember you honey...'

The sound of the heart moniter rang out through the room.

At 11:49pm, 11th October, Gerard Way took his last breath.

The hardest part of this, is leaving you ...